Life Through the Eyes of Children

My Aunt Dede sent this to me, and it was so cute, I thought I'd post it here. ENJOY!

1) I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting , then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of thethe object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!
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I had to make a few comments about a couple of these, because I could really relate from my own experiences with children! I will list the number of the part I'm referring to, then the comment. I'd love to hear all your comments, or funny stories, too!

#2: I love this one, I think I'll send a note like that with a few of my children!! :) It reminds me of how often your children's school and Sunday school teachers know more about your family than you really want them to! I've heard some really interesting things back from my children's teachers at times!!

#3: This one reminds me of the other day. The phone rang, and I saw on the caller-ID that it was our dentist's office, calling to remind us of our appointment that day. I had just put lotion all over my hands, so I didn't want to pick up the phone. I told my son: "Just tell her that we know about the appointment and we're coming." So what does he say on the phone? "My Mom can't come to the phone right now . . . she has lotion all over her hands!" I laughed and laughed...and the secretary got a kick out of it, too!

#7: That one is soooo cute! I don't have an experience like it, but I can exactly picture my 6-year-old saying it! :)

#8: This one is like when I'm fixing my hair or putting on makeup. More than once, any child who comes into the room says, "Where are you going?"

#10: This is great! Funny, but that's the one thing my kids always have mentioned in Parent-Teacher Conferences. Talking too much! And can you believe, several of my children have gotten criticized by teachers for READING TOO MUCH in school! Wow, I'll take that one! Usually that's their #1 problem, trying to get the kids TO read!! :)

#11: This one reminds me of the time my daughter found a $20 bill in an old Bible of mine that she was reading. She brought it to me, wondering who's it was. I told her she could keep it as a surprise reward for reading her scriptures that day, after all, I told her, it's like they say, you can find treasures in the scriptures!

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!