Home Organization Plan

Today I found a fun link that I thought readers of the my blog would really enjoy. It's a website called www.justmommies.com. It's all about pregnancy, childbirth, child-rearing, etc. I didn't spend a lot of time on the "new mommy" parts of the site, but they look well-thought-out and informational for ladies just beginning the parenting journey, as well as those making their way through those first years.

The part of the webisite which I found to be useful at my stage in life was the Home Organization Plan. It's a very simple plan for daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning, plus de-cluttering challenges each month. I am in the process of preparing my family for an out-of-state move, and we are putting our home on the market in about 3 weeks. Needless to say, there's lots of projects to be done, and I want my children to get into some better habits of keeping things "spotless"!

In the past I have been really big on letting go and realizing that our home is to "live in", not to "show off". Sure, I want a clean home, I am a perfectionist at heart. BUT, I don't want a perfectly spotless home at the expense of our family's peace! I did great at keeping my home extremely clean up until somewhere between my 4th & 6th children's births, when my standards just had to be lowered, for the sake of my own sanity! It just became so overwhelming that I could not keep up as well as I wanted to anymore. So I have just learned to let go of (most of) my perfectionism, do the best I can, and then relax and enjoy my family.

BUT. . .putting the house on the market is a different story! Now the house needs to be so clean that with only a short notice I can have it ready to "show off" to potential buyers. So, I am working hard on re-establishing some of the habits that I had let slide, both my own habits as well as my children's. Of course, one of the biggest helps is getting rid of tons of stuff, and boxing up what we want to keep, but can do without for the next 3 months.

So it is in this frame of mind that I googled "daily housekeeping" today to get some new ideas. I always love new ideas! The thing I liked about the JustMommies Home Organization Plan was the fact that someone else figured it out!! I have enough to think about with the home sale, out-of-state-move & new home purchase. I don't want to have to worry about when the perfect time is to clean the toilets! :) So I found this cute little February calendar that you can print out, with all the tasks on them for the month. (You can download the other months here). I'm going to give it a try, adjusting the daily housekeeping tasks to my personal situation.

Right now our family's main housecleaning schedule is a big 2-3 hour session on Saturday with the whole family helping. We have 4 teams (one older person & one younger in each group). The teams are these:
1. Tidy & Vacuuming Team
2. Garbage & Hard Floors Team
3. Kitchen & Bathrooms Team
4. Dust & Polish Team

This weekly consistency has worked really well to keep up with the basics, and to be honest, it's a great family-togetherness time! We put on great music and can visit with the person on our team, talking about things that we might not ever get a moment to discuss otherwise. Of course, as always, when children are helping, the cleaning is not always done to the standards that Mom would like. So with a home on the market, I figure I need to go back over many areas giving them "Mom's touch" with this cute little cleaning calendar. So, that's my plan! I hope a few of these ideas can help you out.

Another resource that might be helpful to you is www.flylady.net. She is a great motivator, and sends daily emails (about a dozen per day!) that tell you what to work on in our your home each day. She's great at teaching you to establish daily habits and to "do anything in 15 minutes". She focuses on "Finally Loving Yourself" (FLY-ing), and letting go of perfectionism so you don't drive yourself crazy! So that's another resource that may be of help to you.

If any of you have other cleaning & organization resources, websites, or ideas that you think could help someone else, please leave a comment! I believe that the best resources we have are ideas and strategies that we can learn from each other. Thanks for reading! Have a great day!

Teach Media Literacy to your Kids!

I saw a clip on UEN (Utah's Education Network) that spoke of "training" your children to have better media-viewing skills. It focused on teaching children how advertisers work, and teaching them to be more educated in the way they perceive & evaluate commercials. I thought it sounded like a great idea, and an excellent follow-up to my article on T.V. watching for kids.

So I did some Google searching and came up with some excellent sites on teaching children media literacy. I also reviewed a few sites that I have used which give parents options for controlling & editing what children are exposed to on television & the movies. I hope these are useful resources that will help you in your quest to find good & uplifting uses of the media! All of the titles below are links to the website described. ENJOY!

PBS Site: Children & Media
Discover how TV, movies, advertising, computers and video games can shape your child's development and what you can do to create a media-literate household. Get age-by-age tips on what you can do to make your child more media savvy. This is a GREAT site that I just found today! I love the age-by-age tips. Check it out today!

Coalition for Quality Children's Media
The Coalition for Quality Children's Media is a national, nonprofit organization founded in 1991 whose mission is to teach children critical viewing skills and to increase the visibility and availability of quality children's media. The Coalition is a voluntary collaboration comprising more than 10,000 media professionals, lobbyists, policymakers, child advocates, educators, parents and families nationwide. Their goals are: A. To teach children to become critical media users; B. To help adults recognize the importance of teaching critical viewing skills to children; C. To help children identify and be aware of outstanding media programming; D. To develop programs for children with special needs such as low-income, hospitalized or at-risk children.

Screen-It.com
Posts movie, music & DVD reviews that evaluate content, themes, language, etc. Gives grades on all of these media sources as well as their opinion on whether it is appropriate for children or not. I have used this many times over the years to help me decide whether or not to take my children to a certain movie or rent a DVD. You can sign up to view the no-ads site, or you can just skip that page and view for free. Signing up supports their cause, and could be a good option if you like to donate to worthy causes. I have loved & trusted this site for many years.

TV Guardian
TVGuardian® is a patented, award winning technology that automatically mutes out offensive language... while you're watching your favorite TV shows or DVDs. "TVGuardian technology actually detects and filters profanity and other offensive phrases chosen by the parent--including "hate words" and racial slurs--while you watch movies or TV shows." --FCC Commissioner Deborah Tate, Report on Violent TV. We purchased one of these about 10 years ago and have used it with great success. I highly recommend it. You can also purchase new DVD systems with this technology already installed. The next time you purchase a DVD player, ask about it.

Family Safe Media
Family Safe Media is dedicated to providing the latest products and services that can help parents bring safe media into their homes. This is a great website that offers many different tools for controlling media usage in your home. This includes time management tools, TV timers, wee-mote, TV Guardian, edited movies & DVD's for sale, etc. It's a wonderful resource.

National Institute on Media & the Family
Since 1996, the National Institute on Media and the Family has worked tirelessly to help parents and communities “watch what our kids watch.” The National Institute on Media and the Family is the world's leading and most respected research-based organization on the positive and harmful effects of media on children and youth. The National Institute on Media and the Family is an independent, nonpartisan, nonsectarian, and nonprofit organization that is based on research, education, and advocacy. Its MediaWise® movement is being adopted in communities throughout the country to help families make wiser media choices and encourage parents to “Watch What their Kids Watch.” This website looks like a good place to see what is going on in this country to encourage those who produce media to focus on those things that are more positive & useful for society instead of damaging & degrading.

Reader Recommended Link:
Net Safe Utah
NetSafe Utah provides tools to help families communicate and have a safe online experience. A special program is available for viewing on the website called "NetSafe Utah: Cybersafe Your Teens". This is a special program for parents that looks at ways to keep teens and children safe on the Internet. Produced by KUED in February 2007, the program features a panel of experts and a studio audience.

T.V. -- To Watch or Not to Watch? That is the Question!

Today I was forwarded an email to an article about the dangers of television to children. To read this article before reading my counter-argument, click here: The Plug-in Drug by Mike Rogers.

While I believe that most parents would agree that television can be very damaging to children if they watch garbage on it, or if they watch too much, this author advocates completely getting rid of T.V. altogether. "Throw it away!" is his battle cry. I mean no disrespect to those who have this standard in their homes. That is their choice, and I can see many benefits to that lifestyle. However, Rogers goes too far when he suggests that parents who let their children watch any T.V. at all do not love them! That was the last straw for me, and while I thoughtfully finished reading because I believe in finding value in others' opinions even when they do not match my own opinion, I knew that I had to write a counter-argument on my blog.

There is no question that there is a lot of garbage on T.V. There is misinformation, vanity and materialism, immorality, and violence, just to name a few. But I would counter that there are an awful lot of books that are as bad or worse than T.V.! And what about the computer? It can serve bad and good purposes. Same with the newspaper. Not to mention magazines. I often want to put blindfolds on my children as we go through the check-stand at the grocery store! Shall we throw away all forms of media altogether? I think that's a bit ridiculous, not to mention unrealistic. The TV is just a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for good or for evil. The way we use the tool is the key. We can't live in a bubble, nor do I think it's necessary. I believe that T.V. can be a teaching tool, just like these other forms of media.

I completely disagree with the basic premise that there is nothing good on TV. There are great shows that teach about nature, science, history and the arts. There is educational television that teaches us languages, algebra, home repairs and a host of other useful skills. Not to mention religious programming such as BYU Campus Devotionals & LDS General Conference. The television can bring a host of specialty information into your home that you could never teach on your own. Just like books.

Some examples:

1. My 3-year-old can identify nearly every letter in the alphabet, and knows many of their sounds, despite the fact that I have not sat down with regularly scheduled formal lessons on the alphabet. Do I review letters with him in books? Sure! Do I use flashcards to help him learn words? Of course. But he is so adept at remembering the letters because of excellent reinforcement from PBS shows such as "Super Why" and "Sesame Street".

2. My grade-school kids have learned to work out problems with friends and siblings by watching shows like Arthur & Berenstein Bears. Do I teach them these concepts face-to-face? Of course! Do I help them work through issues as they arise? Sure! But these values are reinforced by good television programming that promotes values that children wonder & worry about as they are growing up.

3. My teenagers love to watch shows about nature, science & history. I honestly think they know more about some of these subjects than I do. And then they reinforce their knowledge by bringing home library books on Super Novas, Volcanoes, Animal Habitats, Queen's of England, etc. It is part of our family's culture to read for knowledge. These subjects are reinforced and enhanced by the beauty of television.

Is all TV good? Of course not! Do we sometimes watch too much? Definitely. Parental monitoring and values-based-teaching requires that certain shows are off-limits in our home. Most of the supposed "comedy" shows that are full of off-color humor and immorality have no place in a home with children. Many of the "mystery" shows are full of extreme cases of violence, giving an excuse to show horrible images that would give any child a nightmare. Even good T.V. can be bad if watched too much. It's like eating. Celery is good for you, but if you only ate celery, you would probably die.

So where do we go from here? How can we find balance in our use of T.V., the internet, books, and other media? I believe that teaching children how to choose carefully & wisely what they watch, hear, read & play is the key. For example, when a "bad" commercial comes on, I will change the channel or turn it off for "3 minutes", then turn it back on when the desired show returns. In other circumstances, when the commercial is not offensive, but simply ridiculous, I comment on the commercial and insert a casual teaching about why what they are promoting is wrong or how it misleads people. In this way, my children have learned to think for themselves as they analyze what they watch or read, and choose how they will use that information in their lives.

I have seen my children follow suit and turn the T.V. off when something offensive comes on. Or my young daughter will say during a soap commercial: "Mom, that lady is immodest!", which can lead to a good discussion of morality. I would submit that seeing others make mistakes on TV gives parents a perfect opportunity to discuss consequences of such behavior without the children having to go through as many of those mistakes themselves. I hear my children constantly commenting with things like, "oh brother!" when there is something ridiculous being promoted on TV. Or they ask me questions. This is the atmosphere in our home when dealing with the media. I believe that my children are learning about how to deal with the real world, without having to be in the middle of it to learn every lesson the hard way, in real life, with their own futures at stake.

Saying that parents who let their children watch TV do not love them is just one step too far in my opinion! Let's draw another analogy. Cars are dangerous, our children can get in accidents, they could even be killed. So do we stop driving cars? Or can we teach safety and caution and pray for the best? I could list a million more examples along these lines, but I won't, because I know you can all think of them too. Life is treacherous, that's the way it was set up.

For my final analogy, imagine this as compared to our life here on earth. God could have kept us all in Heaven if he just wanted us protected, but he sent us here to earth where there are trials, dangers, and even downright evil. But we are here to learn from this situation of opposition between good and evil, and progress and learn so we will be wiser when we return to Him. He gives us tools like sacred Scriptures, wise friends and family, great philosophers & religious leaders, plus the Holy Spirit to guide our way. He has not left us on our own, but neither has he taken us completely out of harm's way, either. There is a purpose to this opposition, and by thinking critically about what we are faced with, choosing wisely, and overcoming trials, we will be better people and more prepared for the rest of life and the eternities. I think that since Our Father in Heaven is the ultimate parent, we should learn from that, and model our own parenting to His example.

We need to teach our children, guide them, and lovingly help them choose for themselves. The problem with sheltering children too much is that they don't learn to deal with the real world. If a child who does not have experience with making choices about TV is at a friend's house and a rated-R movie comes on, my guess is that he'd sit there and stare open-mouthed and not know how to deal with it. My kids, I'd wager, would walk out, ask their friends to turn it off, or call home to leave. That's what they've been taught. We need to live in this world and know how to deal with it, then choose the better way and create success and beauty in all around us.