T.V. -- To Watch or Not to Watch? That is the Question!

Today I was forwarded an email to an article about the dangers of television to children. To read this article before reading my counter-argument, click here: The Plug-in Drug by Mike Rogers.

While I believe that most parents would agree that television can be very damaging to children if they watch garbage on it, or if they watch too much, this author advocates completely getting rid of T.V. altogether. "Throw it away!" is his battle cry. I mean no disrespect to those who have this standard in their homes. That is their choice, and I can see many benefits to that lifestyle. However, Rogers goes too far when he suggests that parents who let their children watch any T.V. at all do not love them! That was the last straw for me, and while I thoughtfully finished reading because I believe in finding value in others' opinions even when they do not match my own opinion, I knew that I had to write a counter-argument on my blog.

There is no question that there is a lot of garbage on T.V. There is misinformation, vanity and materialism, immorality, and violence, just to name a few. But I would counter that there are an awful lot of books that are as bad or worse than T.V.! And what about the computer? It can serve bad and good purposes. Same with the newspaper. Not to mention magazines. I often want to put blindfolds on my children as we go through the check-stand at the grocery store! Shall we throw away all forms of media altogether? I think that's a bit ridiculous, not to mention unrealistic. The TV is just a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for good or for evil. The way we use the tool is the key. We can't live in a bubble, nor do I think it's necessary. I believe that T.V. can be a teaching tool, just like these other forms of media.

I completely disagree with the basic premise that there is nothing good on TV. There are great shows that teach about nature, science, history and the arts. There is educational television that teaches us languages, algebra, home repairs and a host of other useful skills. Not to mention religious programming such as BYU Campus Devotionals & LDS General Conference. The television can bring a host of specialty information into your home that you could never teach on your own. Just like books.

Some examples:

1. My 3-year-old can identify nearly every letter in the alphabet, and knows many of their sounds, despite the fact that I have not sat down with regularly scheduled formal lessons on the alphabet. Do I review letters with him in books? Sure! Do I use flashcards to help him learn words? Of course. But he is so adept at remembering the letters because of excellent reinforcement from PBS shows such as "Super Why" and "Sesame Street".

2. My grade-school kids have learned to work out problems with friends and siblings by watching shows like Arthur & Berenstein Bears. Do I teach them these concepts face-to-face? Of course! Do I help them work through issues as they arise? Sure! But these values are reinforced by good television programming that promotes values that children wonder & worry about as they are growing up.

3. My teenagers love to watch shows about nature, science & history. I honestly think they know more about some of these subjects than I do. And then they reinforce their knowledge by bringing home library books on Super Novas, Volcanoes, Animal Habitats, Queen's of England, etc. It is part of our family's culture to read for knowledge. These subjects are reinforced and enhanced by the beauty of television.

Is all TV good? Of course not! Do we sometimes watch too much? Definitely. Parental monitoring and values-based-teaching requires that certain shows are off-limits in our home. Most of the supposed "comedy" shows that are full of off-color humor and immorality have no place in a home with children. Many of the "mystery" shows are full of extreme cases of violence, giving an excuse to show horrible images that would give any child a nightmare. Even good T.V. can be bad if watched too much. It's like eating. Celery is good for you, but if you only ate celery, you would probably die.

So where do we go from here? How can we find balance in our use of T.V., the internet, books, and other media? I believe that teaching children how to choose carefully & wisely what they watch, hear, read & play is the key. For example, when a "bad" commercial comes on, I will change the channel or turn it off for "3 minutes", then turn it back on when the desired show returns. In other circumstances, when the commercial is not offensive, but simply ridiculous, I comment on the commercial and insert a casual teaching about why what they are promoting is wrong or how it misleads people. In this way, my children have learned to think for themselves as they analyze what they watch or read, and choose how they will use that information in their lives.

I have seen my children follow suit and turn the T.V. off when something offensive comes on. Or my young daughter will say during a soap commercial: "Mom, that lady is immodest!", which can lead to a good discussion of morality. I would submit that seeing others make mistakes on TV gives parents a perfect opportunity to discuss consequences of such behavior without the children having to go through as many of those mistakes themselves. I hear my children constantly commenting with things like, "oh brother!" when there is something ridiculous being promoted on TV. Or they ask me questions. This is the atmosphere in our home when dealing with the media. I believe that my children are learning about how to deal with the real world, without having to be in the middle of it to learn every lesson the hard way, in real life, with their own futures at stake.

Saying that parents who let their children watch TV do not love them is just one step too far in my opinion! Let's draw another analogy. Cars are dangerous, our children can get in accidents, they could even be killed. So do we stop driving cars? Or can we teach safety and caution and pray for the best? I could list a million more examples along these lines, but I won't, because I know you can all think of them too. Life is treacherous, that's the way it was set up.

For my final analogy, imagine this as compared to our life here on earth. God could have kept us all in Heaven if he just wanted us protected, but he sent us here to earth where there are trials, dangers, and even downright evil. But we are here to learn from this situation of opposition between good and evil, and progress and learn so we will be wiser when we return to Him. He gives us tools like sacred Scriptures, wise friends and family, great philosophers & religious leaders, plus the Holy Spirit to guide our way. He has not left us on our own, but neither has he taken us completely out of harm's way, either. There is a purpose to this opposition, and by thinking critically about what we are faced with, choosing wisely, and overcoming trials, we will be better people and more prepared for the rest of life and the eternities. I think that since Our Father in Heaven is the ultimate parent, we should learn from that, and model our own parenting to His example.

We need to teach our children, guide them, and lovingly help them choose for themselves. The problem with sheltering children too much is that they don't learn to deal with the real world. If a child who does not have experience with making choices about TV is at a friend's house and a rated-R movie comes on, my guess is that he'd sit there and stare open-mouthed and not know how to deal with it. My kids, I'd wager, would walk out, ask their friends to turn it off, or call home to leave. That's what they've been taught. We need to live in this world and know how to deal with it, then choose the better way and create success and beauty in all around us.